Boy! oh Boy! I have turned into a real procrastinator these days. I just don’t want to do anything!
I should have already gotten our tax paper work to the accountant by now and I haven’t.
I should have cleaned my floors last week, but I haven’t.
I need to start spring cleaning and haven’t done that either.
We have too much stuff accumulated in the closets and cabinets that needs to be gone through. I hate the clutter with a vengeance, but I just can’t get myself to get moving. Is it just me??
I have things to do in the yard before it gets too hot, pretty soon the Florida sun will be too hot to be out there.
I think a lot of the problem is that I really don’t feel good and am always tired. The weather fronts really bother me now, since I was in a car accident 3 years ago and had to have a cervical fusion to fix a herniated disc in my neck. Also I’m always alone, if I have to go some where or do anything it’s usually by myself. That gets old pretty quick! I mean my husband his here in the afternoons and evenings, but he doesn’t like to yard work and doing the things I want to go do. Especially after he gets home from work.
He gets up early for work and does get home early, but he is exhausted. He was diagnosed with CLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia) almost two years ago. His biggest symptom right now is exhaustion.
I haven’t even taken the time to get on tumbler and blog! That is one of my biggest pet peeves. When people open a social network account, start a blog, etc and then quickly abandon it. I guess I’m guilty!
I have been thinking about this often as of late, Why Do Our Lives Turn Out the Way They Do?.
What got it all started was, I have two friends, one I have known most of my life and the other I went to high school with, but we didn’t meet until a class reunion about 3 years ago.
The one I have known most of my life is divorced with 5 adult children and a number of grandchildren. She has always been a sweet person and hard worker. She has had many health issues over the years. Now she is going through esophageal cancer. This strong woman has been suffering for a long time trying to find a doctor that could tell her what’s wrong. Finally she got into one of the best hospitals in the mid-west. She has so many allergies to important things like anesthesia, chemo drugs. She had to have a feeding tube put in and has had numerous infections and multiple surgeries. Her finances have dwindled to hardly nothing because she has not been able to hold down a job. Her car died on her, so she has to rely on friends and family to take her far from her home to get to the hospital for her treatments, etc. Much of her situation is not of her own doing. She is a strong woman of faith and my heart aches for her. I pray for God to miraculously heal her!
The other friend from high school also has many health issues, financial issues and family issues. Many of the problems in her life are caused by life choices. I don’t know if she was married or not, but she has two beautiful adult daughters, each daughter has children. I don’t know where she gets her money to live, I am guessing from the government. There is always so much drama in her life. Since I met her she has lived multiple places, many times with her daughters and grandchildren (which she adores), then the daughters take advantage of her by needing money, not cleaning up after themselves and children, always having her watch the kids so they can go out and have fun. She never has her “own time” (which I can relate to) and then she will go stay at her on again, off again boyfriend until he treats her badly and they break up again. She finally got her own apartment, then hated it because she was so lonely without her family. She knows that she keeps doing the same things over and over. She is a strong woman and my heart aches for her also. I pray one day she’ll realize that she needs to live for herself now and not her family, they are adults with their own children.
For me it is so hard to see others struggle. I have had my own financial issues, health issues and still do.
I know many people say “God will not give you more than you can handle.” How do some people turn out to be so much stronger than others? You can grow up in the same family and turn out so differently, health-wise, tastes in food, music, political views, even morals.
Why do our lives turn out the way they do?
That is a really good question!
I am 50 years old and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up (career wise). I haven’t the slightest idea. After I graduated High School (early) I just wanted to get married to my husband and be out on our own.
In the early 1990’s after my daughter went to elementary school, I thought I would go check out the local junior college, so I made an appointment with a counselor. We talked about the different things the college offered and because I didn’t know what I wanted to do, she suggested that I take an interest test to see what career I might be suited for. She gave me a call a week later to come back in and go over the results. I was so excited to go back to school and have a career. After I sat down in her office, she picked up a small stack of papers in front of her and hesitated for a quick moment (took a breath). She went on to tell me ” I have never had this happen before (long pause), but you are not interested in anything.” At that moment my jaw dropped, my heart sunk and I’m sure all the color went out of my face. I was devastated! She went on to tell me “you are interested in little bits of everything. No one area interests you.” Normally people are drawn more to one career area than an other, but not me! I am ABNORMAL!!
Well, needless to say I never went back to get a career. That was a big blow to me! I have taken voice lessons at a local college’s community school of the arts, for fun. I have had jobs here and there that I have done well at, but nothing that was something that I really wanted to do.
Singing was my passion for many years, I sang at church and other places. I would have really liked to have been in a band and sung professionally, but that wasn’t in the cards and now who wants a 50 year old woman in their band?! I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone say it (with a chuckle) “Boy, I wish we could find an older lady to sing with us in our band!!”, have you?
I have never made a new years resolution, have you? How many people really keep their new years resolutions? Most people that I have known don’t stick to them for too long. Is it because they set the bar too high or is it something that they truly don’t want to give up? Why do people decide to set the ones that they do?
Things that make you go Hum!
Man oh man! My brain has been whirling with partial ideas and thoughts. It is so frustrating because first of all I have no idea where to start to get them out of my brain and everything seems to not be complete. If that makes any sense.
Incomplete thoughts really drive me nuts. I can be so anal about things like that. I’m not one to leave things half done and it seems like life has been getting that way more and more these days. I start something and then have to move on to something else and on and on. It”s as though life is one incomplete thing after one incomplete thing and so on and so on. That saying reminds me of the old “Herbal Essence” commercials. Back in the day when there was one “Herbal Essence”, Not the plural hair product they sell now a days, “Herbal EssenceS”.
Well, anyway back to thinking.
Then I have gotten into the bad habit of thinking of things that need to be done around the house and keep putting them off. I used to be able to have a few part time jobs a week and keep my house in order. Now I can’t even keep my house in the order like I would like and I don’t have any jobs!! I was thinking maybe I need a job a couple days a week! Will things get done because I have only a certain amount of time to get them done or would everything just fall a part? I fear the latter will win out!
I will just have to keep thinking about it!
“Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” ― Voltaire
“The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be kindled.” ― Plutarch
“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”
― Horace Walpole
“People don’t like to think, if one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.” ― Helen Keller
“No brain at all, some of them [people], only grey fluff that’s blown into their heads by mistake, and they don’t Think.” ― A.A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner
“Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours.” ― John Locke
“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it.” ― Henry Ford
“When I get ready to talk to people, I spend two thirds of the time thinking what they want to hear and one third thinking about what I want to say.”
― Abraham Lincoln
“Words make you think. Music makes you feel. A song makes you feel a thought.”
― Yip Harburg
“A conclusion is the place you get to when you’re tired of thinking.”
― Jill Shalvis, The Sweetest Thing
The other night my husband went to bed early. I stayed up for about an hour with the dogs because it was too early for them to go to bed. I got the dogs in their crates and crawled into bed as quiet as I could. As soon as I got settled in I hear him say “What colors make orange?”. Thinking that he was dreaming I quietly repeated what he said. I wanted to see if he knew what he was saying. He said “yeah, what colors make orange?” “Yellow and Red. Why do you ask?” I replied. He said “I was just wondering.” He rolled over and went right to dreamland while I then tried to fall asleep and just kept thinking about different colors….Red and blue make purple, blue and yellow make green then blue, red and yellow make brown. I then wondered how my husband didn’t know the answer to his question, we met in art class my sophomore year and his senior year of high school. He took art for 12 years as I did. I was an straight A student in art class, my favorite class of the day. My escape for a small portion of the day. My Mom wanted me to go to art school and I wanted nothing to do with school after I graduated from high school.
One of my favorite things about color is black and white. Black is all color (red, yellow, blue the primary colors) while white is absence of any color. Black absorbs light while white reflects light.
Our daughter is a hair stylist, she also took art all through school. She was very good at it and did some beautiful and amazing works of art. She uses her color knowledge from art class to mix hair color. Some people without that background really struggle with mixing hair color because they either weren’t taught or can’t grasp color basics. She is very surprised when people that have been in the hair business much longer than she has ask her how to formulate a color.
There is so much more to color than people realize. But once you get it, you know it .
This evening when I showered and went to shave my legs and low and behold there was a nasty black bruise about the size of a quarter by my knee! When did that happen? How come I can’t remember it happened? It must have hurt when it happened, right?
In the past I have talked with friends and they all talk about having “mystery bruises” and don’t remember how they happened.
Sometimes I remember when I’ve really gotten hit by something or ran into something that would leave a bruise, but why don’t we remember them all? Could it be because something else is going on at the time and we easily forgot about the injury?
Another thing, why do some people bruise easier than others? I talking about healthy people. I understand if you have an illness or on certain medication you are more susceptible to bruising.
I guess it must just be one of those things that make you go Hummmmm.
My only child got married a week ago to her best friend. It was a beautiful day!
Times have changed since I got married over 31 years ago. When I got married I did all the leg work and planning myself, there were no wedding planners that I knew of back then. I checked with my Mom about different things and we went to check out the halls (now called a venue) and picked out the meal and other reception details together. I paid for my own dress, flowers and cake myself. It was a lot of fun doing it all!
My daughter did not get my gift of party planning. She was not involved much at all. She gave me ideas of what she wanted (which changed weekly and sometime daily!) and I looked online and in wedding magazines for ideas. I wanted to do as much as I could myself to save money and splurge on the more important things like a good photographer, which we did not have when I was married. Also we had a cello & violin for the ceremony and an added violin for the reception which added a beautiful touch. They were involved in the food choices and tasting of course.
We don’t have a big immediate family and they all live out of town. A few were able to make the trip which was so nice. We were a little concerned about the weather. That was the weekend hurricane Sandy moved up the East coast, dropped temperatures and brought gusty winds. This was an outside ceremony. Even though it was cooler than we would have liked it, turned out to be a very beautiful day and I think everyone was comfortable. Thankfully our friend Kellie did the flower arrangements, bouquets, etc. She also transported items from the ceremony venue to the reception venue. We tried to multipurpose decorations and arrangements, which worked well! The people at the reception venue said they would decorate all the tables with the items we supplied, well Kellie showed up during the ceremony to put flowers on the cake that was delivered by the bakery. None of the tables had been decorated, there were too many tables and the small 3 tier cake was on a jumbo table. Kellie aka “wonder woman” went into action and had those workers jumping! She took care of it all, what a dear friend! She got back to the the ceremony venue shortly after it ended and told me what had happened and how she changed into her reception dress at a red traffic signal. She is so funny! We helped her get everything loaded and collected all our daughters belonging from the bridal room and headed over to the reception. Our daughter and her new husband are both good Christian kids. They didn’t want any alcohol and no dancing, not because they think it is evil just because they aren’t drinkers (even though our son-in-law will have a glass of wine or sangria on occasion. We did talk them into having a champagne toast) and neither one of them dance. We had a lovely fall punch, soft drinks and alcoholic drinks could be purchased in the bar. Yummy passed horderves! Dinner was fabulous and we received many compliments on the food and service. Seeing that it was a Sunday night no one stayed out too late because most had to get to work in the morning.
I think the kids were pleased with the way everything turned out, even though there were a few hiccups everything got taken care of and no one knew any different. We can’t wait to see the professional pictures because the pictures our family members took turned out great!
Last week my husband and I traveled back to our home town. The main reason for the trip was my family reunion, my Dad’s side of the family. Earlier in the year my Uncle Paul (Dad’s youngest & last living brother) was killed in a small plane crash. The accident made national headlines. Because of the loss of my uncle my cousin decided to have a family reunion at her home like she did years ago. Besides the relatives still living in the area, cousins were able to make it from Arizona, Kentucky, Texas and Florida. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect and it was so nice to see everyone and to meet the new little ones! Of course we missed those that were unable to make it.
My Dad’s only living sister Mary was there and his cousin Gus. We all put them to work asking questions about who this picture is of and how were they related. They were both so gracious about answering questions. I hope to have such sharp memories when I’m their ages! I found out I had an great Aunt Daisy (grandma’s sister), never heard of her before. I also did not realize that my Dad stood up in his cousin Gus’ wedding.
My cousin Karen was there, she is 8 or 9 years older than I am. She hung out more with my sister when they were younger. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease a few years back. I have not seen her since being diagnosed, she did very well with all the people. It was nice to sit and talk to her. She loves her two dogs and was very concerned about getting home to feed them dinner. At the last reunion I was at with her we had a great time talking and playing volley ball. Her Mom was my Dad’s oldest sister Rose, she also developed Alzheimer’s, but was much older. My heart goes out to her family, her husband works from home to be able to care for her. What a great man!
All this reminiscing made my sister & I want to subscribe to ancestry.com and do more research, which we will do later in the year. We really don’t know too much about our Dad’s side of the family, like I’ve said previously. Dad did not talk much about his growing up years. It is difficult to research because my grandparents were 1st generation immigrants, all information is back in the old country aka Italy. I hope to learn more because I would like to know where my family comes from.